Love, Susan S

A Letter To My Friend,

Natalie Baitner, Mommy & Susan Samet
at Dina & David's Wedding, August 1998 

Dear Eva (a"h),

This is not about how you died, but rather, how you lived…

What would it be like if you were still here?
The urge to pick up the phone and call you, will never disappear
You remain always in front of my eyes, and in my mind
The words to explain are impossible to find

Our friendship began with trepidation, and on all sides fear
To run S.W.O. we were chosen, our goals were clear
We decided to do the best job that we could
And together, above and beyond, we did more than we should

It was you, Shoshanna and me
We hung together like the musketeers three
We lived and breathed S.W.O. morning, noon and night
And amazingly, we always agreed – never did we fight

There could have been many issues upon which we could disagree
But our minds were always one – we showed a great amount of unity
Our many years together made our friendship a must
Based on commitment and truly on trust

After our girls "graduated", we could have gone on our way
But we still kept so close, sharing , and caring each and every day
The phone conversations, the country visits, and Shabbasim we spent together
Life happens...some things happy and some sad... we cherish and remember

With Joy and Shoshanna, our "adventures" brought us such pleasure
We'd tried all the new restaurants, the times we now treasure
You would first order your "COKE" which was your special delight
And share your "order" giving everyone a bit

No matter the place, the time, we laughed hearty until we cried
We were in stitches, holding our side
Speaking of "stitches", you were a "knitter" so great
I knew I could all you for help (sometimes even when it was late)

You could pick up stitches that were lost, read a pattern and explain
And gave over so clearly, what made me insane
You were always to patient, so kind, and sweet, anything you did brought you pride
Your creativity and expertise came from within, deep inside

You were always willing to be a listening ear
Another special way to show that you care
Your advice always came from you heart
Surely this will be missed, now that we are apart

When I planned Shira's wedding, who did I call?
You and Shoshanna, who naturally knew it all
You came and helped me prick out my gown
I knew if it was good or not, just by seeing your smile or your frown

A tuck here, a dart there
Perfection was needed, and you made that clear
Our welfare was always your priority, you were so concerned
Credit for a lasting friendship between us and the Scher's you earned

At a time when life seemed so dark and despair
It was Joy and Reuven who you called upon to be there
The theater shows brought us to laughter and tears
Especially "MENOPAUSE"which we reminisced for years

I still have the message with your voice on my cell
It was my last birthday wish from you, as you wished me well
Why it was not erased, I will never understand
Perhaps, so that I can always hear your voice on demand!

May your Neshama have an Aliya
and may you find true Menucha in 
Gan Eden

Susan Samet

Love, Natalie B

Casino Night in Clearview, 1988

I miss the daily wake up calls that started my day. It is amazing that even though we spoke the night before, we had what to talk about early in the morning.

Tamara, Adina, Dassy and Bim, 1988

I miss going over for coffee before school or sitting on my little porch having coffee after school.

I miss Eva playing Mahjong on a weekly basis, or forcing her to play on other nights of the week.

Mommy's 40th Birthday Party at Irving & Sandy Katz's

I miss the many Shabbat meals that we spent together.

I miss the phone calls from Costco, Shoprite, Pathmark, & Moishes asking each other, "do you need anything?" And causing us to have an ongoing cheshbon (tally).

Norwegian Cruise, 2008

I remember the cruises, the trips to A.C., the trips to the mall and all of the other "Yenta" good times.

Norwegian Cruise, 2008

I cannot imagine being in Clearview without Eva.

There is not a waking moment that I do not think of Eva or miss her. Eva was a wonderful friend, mother, and grandmother to her children as well as to mine.

Love,
Natalie Baitner

Love, Shoshanna K

Mommy and Shoshanna in Clearview

Your mother and I were quite a team. No matter what we did, something went "different."

My best shopping experience ever

When we went to the bungalow, we shared a car for the summer. Our outings were relegated to grocery shopping, fruit and vegetable shopping, meat shopping and some miscellaneous stuff. We went every place together. Remember, Wednesday and Thursday were days that we shopped and schlepped and schlepped, etc...

One day, we went to Mountain Fruit in Monticello. I spent time carefully picking the best canaloupes that I could. I put them in my wagon and a young Chasideshe man (about 20), came up to me – very red in the face – and suggested that I might want to take some stickers off my shirt. I thanked him and looked down. Well, on two protruding spots, were two stickers. Each marked $1.49.

I couldn't contain myself. I thanked the young man for bringing this to my attention as this could be quite embarrassing. I couldn't stop laughing. I ran through the store until I saw your mother. She thought that I must have lost my mind (again) and I just kept pointing to my shirt. When she finally realized what I was pointing at the two of us were in tears. That was my best shopping experience EVER at Mountain Fruit.

And we can't forget...

Dena, of course will never forget YOU HOO, U.P.S. MAN...And Yitzi who kept saying, "this looks like a little dirt road." It wasn't our fault that we were on the wrong side of the mountain!

Yitzi and Mommy

Summer cars

One of our wonderful summer cars had a very interesting windshield wiper system. The wiper worked so well that it even wiped the SIDE window. Unfortunately, as it reached the driver side window, it did not retract to the front until it was manually pushed. This was when we were younger and your mother did not drive on the highway. We wanted to go to Middletown (we had to escape). Unfortunately, it began to rain. Need I say more?

When we reached Middletown, I was soaking wet. My window had to stay open and my left hand kept pushing the wiper bak into position as I drove with my right. We laughed all the way to Middletown. It's a wonder we got there at all.

Bubby and Mommy on the porch...always knitting

Ice Cream

In later years, your Bubby needed blood tests every week and we had to go to Harris Hospital. One day, while I was sitting in the waiting room, I noticed an ad for an old fashioned ice-cream parlor in Mountaindale. I love ice-cream!

I was so excited that it was hard to contain myself. As soon as we returned to the bungalow, we called and guess what? They only used Hershey's ice cream and it was kosher. That Saturday night, we DRAGGED our husbands to Mountaindale. It was a very dark road and no GPS in those days – but we were on a mission and wouldn't give up. Well, we had something called the KITCHEN SINK (it's a bit of everything). Boy were we sick, but it was great. We tried to keep this place a secret as long as we could, but somehow other people in the bungalow started going and somehow the first time was still the best.

(And then there was the day) it was Erev Tisha Ba'av ad I NEEDED ICE CREAM. Marley's had already closed and I was desperate. So....we drove to Middletown to Friendly's. After we finished our yummy stuff, we began our trip home. There was a funny noise coming from our car. We pulled into a gas station and the attendant assured us that everything was fine. It was just our muffler which would definitely stay on the car to Monticello and we shouldn't worry. So, we took off again and LOST the muffler as we got on to Route 17.

My Best Friend

Your mother was my second half, my grounded half...my best friend. I never had to start a thought at the beginning...she knew exactly what I was thinking and exactly how to guide me. Of course, sometimes, I went a little off course. She was the straight man and I was the comic relief...She was thoughtful (everyone came before her), kind, sincere and was always there for me. A true best friend.

Many people go through their whole lives without finding a best friend. I had Eva and I consider myself one of the luckiest people on earth.

Shoshanna

Clearview 1987

I wanted to share the memory that my cousin Aviva sent me:

"For me, going to visit your mother at Clearview was a special delight and holds special memories…I always had the best time with your Mom; we shared lots of laughs and I met all the country friends. 

The funniest story was when Sheldon asked your mother if she had prune juice to help him with his problem. She said no, but called out the door to Shoshanna or someone else nearby to ask if they had prune juice for her cousin. 

Well, Sheldon was mortified and suggested that Eva go make an announcement on the loudspeaker so the entire colony could know his personal business. 

Eva is in my heart. Those summer visits hold good memories for me. What a great friend and cousin your mother was to me."

After I read this, I knew I had to have at least one with the Aviva and Sheldon in Clearview. So I started the painful task of looking through pictures and albums.

Top Row: Aviva, Sheldon and David
Middle: Daniel and Ruchie
Bottom: Chaim, Mommy, Tamara and Devorah

Then I found it! The snapshot is from the summer of 1987. I think this was the phase where we all swore that Devorah was Punky Brewster. Standing in front of Bungalow 34, Sheldon’s mustache, this picture says it all.

My mom always said we had a small family, but that wasn’t really accurate. I think she just meant that we were close. Let me explain.

My Zayda, Izak Leffel and Uncle Dovid (say it like this: Du-vid), were brothers. Uncle Dovid married Tante Hania and had three children: Chaim, Sheldon and Yossel. They lived in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn.

After Uncle Sach was born, my Bubby fell into a deep depression that lasted months. Since Bubby could not take care of Mommy, Tante Hania and Uncle Dovid stepped in. They welcomed her with open arms. Mommy was delighted to live with her cousins in Brighton. Sheldon and my mom formed a special bond – the brother-sisterly kind. She was devastated when Sheldon was niftar.

Growing up, Aviva and Mommy were great friends and made sure that our families stayed close. Ruchie, David and I loved to visit our cousins in Teaneck – boy did it seem far from Brooklyn. We’d wake up early on Sunday morning to make the drive to New Jersey; it was a far-off place, with grass and trees.

Aviva, I’m so glad that you welcomed us into your hearts. Thank you for taking the time to write what is on our minds.

The Ketubah Mystery

Buby & Zayda's Wedding. From left: Mila Leffel, Izak Leffel, Pinchas Mendlowitz, and Ania Reinharz, of Geneva

My Bubby and Zayda, Mila and Izak Leffel were married on Shushan Purim, Friday March 7, 1947 (15 Adar, 5707). According to my Uncle Sach, Mommy’s brother Psachia Leffel, Shushan Purim was a great day to be married. First, Shushan Purim is a festive day. Second, it takes place in Adar, the month that “was transformed for [the Jews] from mourning to joy” (Esther 9:22). Next, it was a Friday. In the past, Jewish weddings were regularly held on Fridays. The chupah ceremony was held before sunset, and the wedding reception, which started after nightfall, was a grand Shabbat meal for all (see Chabad.org).

But, was that the date recorded on their Ketubah?

Declaration of Marriage

The Ketubah that I found in the Leather Satchel was written on Sunday, 6 Kislev 5710, which translates to November 27, 1949. The dates don’t match. After much searching, I stumbled upon the notion of a ketubah de'irkhesa – a replacement ketubah, in the event that the original was lost. Our Rabbi Eliyahu Kaufman of Ohav Emeth in Highland Park, NJ, confirmed this Ketubah replaced the lost original.

The replacement Ketubah was written in Hallein, Austria near the Salzburg Displaced Persons camp (Beth Israel). I also found a Sworn Declaration of Marriage (click to see text) dated November 17, 1949, which makes the date less erroneous. The Declaration confirmed that Izak and Mila were married on August 17, 1938 in Sanok, Poland and did not have their original marriage certificate. While the 1938 marriage date is incorrect, this may explain the date on the Ketubah.

For me, it's close enough on the dates…mystery solved!

Out of Siberia

Finding Yocheved Mendlowitz and bringing her home.
This is one of those stories that makes you say, “I can’t believe this actually happened.” The events are too coincidental; it has to be hashgacha pratis (divine providence).

Bubby's mother, Yocheved Mendlovitz

In the late 1990s, a family friend tracked down my Bubby’s Mother’s gravesite in Siberia. I remember the day we found out. We were living at 1647. My Mom came upstairs and gave my Bubby an envelope. Inside were pictures. Tears streamed down Bubby’s face, and all she could say, in Yiddish, was “That is her, she’s the same.”

When she got on the phone with her brother, the story slowly unraveled. Below is the interview with Bubby’s brother Shalom (they pronounced Shoo-lum).

Article that appeared in Israeli newspaper.

When Shalom Medlowitz made Aliya in 1950, he was forced to leave his mother in Siberia. This week he succeeded in bringing her complete Matzeva (tombstone) and remains home, where she was buried beside her husband.

Last week, Shalom Mendlowitz fulfilled a lifelong dream. Fifty-one years since his mother, Yocheved, died in Russia, Mendlowitz managed to bring her body and Matzeva to Israel.

Everything happened quite by accident. About three weeks ago, an old family friend living in New York, travelled to Siberia to visit his father’s grave. When he took a picture, he also caught part of Yocheved Mendlowitz's grave. When he realized who she was, he sent it to her son, Shalom.

"I suddenly realized that the Matzeva is still intact," says Mendlowitz (78). “Since I moved to Israel in 1950, we discussed how to raise the grave. In 1954, my father died. It was then we decided that our mother should be buried beside him. But at the time, it was impossible. The ties between Israel and Russia were strained."

This time, Mendlowitz was able to contact the Russian authorities and obtain permission to dismantle the monument, exhume the coffin and move them to Israel. "My mother was buried at a Christian hospital cemetery in an area allocated to 40 Jewish families by the Russian government. As soon as our friend identified her grave, we filed the papers to transport her grave. We sent him power of attorney and a picture of the gravesite. The Chevrah Kaddisha (burial society) had a large part in this great mitzvah. Thanks to them, we were able to bury our mother in her rightful resting place, next to our father.”

Mendlowitz was very emotional during the conversation, and wiped away tears of joy. "Our Mother was a righteous woman. She died on a Friday and we hope she may be a Melitza Tova (positive advocate) for our family."

His Sarah wife interrupts, “My husband and our children are all excited. Everyone is delighted we were able to rescue the Matzeva. It's definitely an dream come true – and it is still hard for us to believe that we were successful.”

According to Mendlowitz, his mother’s body was preserved in its entirety because of the cold weather. "I recognize my mother’s four gold teeth. Her body was still is intact – I was shocked. When we buried her (in Israel), an member of the Chevra Kadisha approached me and said he was amazed. Just a few weeks before, he exhumed a different grave, but there was no trace of any remains, aside for the marker."

The wood Siberian Matzeva and stone Star of David that Mendlowitz brought to Israel are in excellent condition. They remain in Shalom’s house, waiting to be included in the new Matzeva.

Tante Nushi Mendlowitz at Kever of Yocheved Mendlowitz

The Leather Satchel

I know this sounds clichéd, but Ruchie and I found buried treasure in the back of a closet. Treasure, in the form of Bubby’s tan leather travel bag filled with post-war papers.

For good reason, there seems to be a certain memory gap around WWII. I can only imagine that the climate was so horrific and speaking the memories was too traumatic. I guess Bubby put away the papers, without realizing that someday they would be threads linking to our history. I’m glad they’ve surfaced.

When I opened the time capsule, this is what I found:

Bubby and Zayda's Ketubah

• Bubby & Zayda’s Ketubah
• Naturalizations certificates for Bubby and Mommy
• U.S. Declaration papers
• Mommy’s immigration card
• Bubby & Zayda’s individual testimonies for war reparations, including doctor’s notes.

Though I was so happy to find, scan, and record them, the papers have left me with many gaps and unanswered questions – trying to piece back history.

Bubby's Naturalization Certificate

Mommy's Naturalization Certificate

I suppose this falls into the category of, “You’ll never know what you’ll find cleaning up.” Until we had to go through all of the closets, we did not. And, if all the work was just for this, I’m glad we did.

Mommy – 2 years old

Zayda's Declaration of Intention

Bubby's Declaration of Intention